Holiday Expectations: How to Survive the Season Without Losing Our Minds
December 17, 2025
The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? Twinkling lights, perfect meals, cozy moments, laughter ringing through the air. And yet, here we are—scrambling to buy the “perfect gift,” stressing about the dinner, or secretly wishing we could just hide under a blanket with snacks and a terrible movie.
Holiday expectations have a sneaky way of building pressure before we even have a chance to enjoy the season. Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold the idea that everything must be perfect: the house spotless, the tree immaculately decorated, the family drama minimal, the Instagram posts enviable. And of course, we are expected to be cheerful through it all.
The Illusion of the Perfect Holiday
Here’s the truth: the perfect holiday does not exist. It never has. That sparkling image we see in movies or on social media is curated. It is a highlight reel, edited to remove the chaos, burnt cookies, awkward conversations, and the inevitable spill of gravy on the carpet.
Expecting perfection is a fast track to disappointment. When the turkey is dry, the cousin annoys us, or the Wi Fi mysteriously fails at the exact wrong moment, we can feel like we are failing at the season. And that is exhausting.
The Freedom in Lowering Expectations
Here is a radical idea: what if we lowered our expectations instead of chasing perfection? What if we allowed the holiday to be messy, real, and human? There is freedom in letting go of the script and simply showing up, imperfections and all.
The crooked tree is still a tree. The burnt cookies still taste like nostalgia. The awkward conversations still become stories we laugh about later. By loosening our grip on what “should” happen, we open space for what actually can happen: joy, connection, and genuine laughter.
Focus on What Really Matters
Holiday expectations often make us forget why we celebrate in the first place. The season is about connection, generosity, reflection, and sometimes just a little indulgence in food and comfort. It is about people, not perfection.
We can focus on creating moments that matter rather than flawless ones. A walk in the snow, a heartfelt phone call, watching a movie with someone we love. These simple moments become the memories we actually cherish, even if the mashed potatoes are slightly lumpy or the lights blink in the wrong order.
Give Ourselves Permission
Perhaps the kindest gift we can give ourselves this holiday season is permission. Permission to step back, to say no, to laugh at the chaos, and to embrace imperfection. The holidays are not a competition. They are not a test. They are a chance to pause, connect, and even find delight in the little things.
When we release the pressure, we allow joy to sneak in. We allow connection to deepen. We allow ourselves to be fully present without the burden of expectation.
A Reminder for the Season
This holiday season, let us remember: it does not need to be perfect. It needs to be lived. It needs to be felt. It needs to include the mess, the laughter, the burnt cookies, and the awkward moments.
Because in the end, these imperfect moments are the ones we remember. They are the ones that make the holidays truly magical. Not the expectation of perfection, but the reality of life shared with the people and moments that matter most.
