Staying Here: How We Keep Coming Back to the Present Moment

July 27, 2025

Some of us live in the past, replaying moments like old movies we can’t stop watching. Others live in the future, scripting a dozen possible outcomes just to feel safe. And then there’s the present. That elusive, quiet space we keep meaning to return to, but somehow forget exists in the middle of everything else.

Being present sounds simple. But for brains like ours, wired for reflection, planning, and constant internal noise it’s not always easy. And that’s okay. Staying in the moment is a practice, not a performance. It’s something we return to, over and over, not something we master once and for all.

Here’s how we can start coming back to the now, a little more often without judgment, pressure, or perfection.

1. Notice That You’ve Left the Moment — Then Gently Return

The first step isn’t to force presence. It’s to notice when we’re not here. Are we rehashing a conversation from earlier? Imagining a future problem? Drifting into a made-up version of someone else's thoughts?

That moment of noticing is powerful. It’s not failure… it’s awareness.

Try gently telling yourself:
“Okay, I left. I can come back now.”

No shame. No scolding. Just a soft return.

2. Use the Body as an Anchor

The mind wanders, that’s what it does. But the body stays here. Always.

When we feel ourselves drifting, we can come back by noticing something physical:

• Our feet on the ground

• The rise and fall of our breath

• The temperature on our skin

• The sensation of our hands resting in our lap

These aren’t distractions… they’re anchors. The body is home. It helps us remember where we are.

3. Don’t Wait for Calm — Create Presence Inside the Chaos

Sometimes we think we need perfect conditions to be present: a quiet room, a clear mind, a calm body. But presence can happen anywhere even in the middle of overwhelm.

You can be anxious and still notice the sky.
You can be rushing and still feel your feet hit the floor.
You can be heartbroken and still take a full, grounding breath.

Presence isn’t about fixing everything first. It’s about touching this moment, as it is.

4. Shrink the Frame

We often zoom out too far, worrying about the next week, month, year. But presence asks us to zoom in.

What’s right in front of us?

Try this:

• What can I see right now?

• What can I hear right now?

• What do I need in this next ten minutes, not the next ten years?

The smaller the moment, the more room there is to be inside it.

5. Let Go of the Idea That You Have to “Do” Presence Perfectly

Being present isn’t a task you check off. It’s not a flawless state you earn by meditating a certain way or breathing perfectly.

Sometimes we’re here for ten seconds.
Sometimes for a full hour.
Sometimes we forget entirely and then remember again.

That remembering is the practice. We don’t fail. We just begin again.

Final Thought: Presence Is Not a Place — It’s a Habit of Returning

We won’t live in the present moment all the time, that’s not the goal. But we can return to it more often, with more ease, and less guilt. We can build little rituals, pauses, and reminders that say, “Come back. You’re safe here.”

So here’s to the small returns… to breathing, noticing, grounding, and beginning again.
Not perfectly. Just intentionally.

We’re still here. And that’s more than enough.

For the Chronically In-Our-Heads: A Survival Guide

July 20, 2025

If you're anything like us, your brain doesn’t have an off switch. It replays conversations from three days ago, runs through worst-case scenarios like it’s training for the Olympics, and tries to solve emotional puzzles with pieces that don’t even exist.

Welcome! You’re among overthinkers. We don’t just live life; we mentally dissect it, rehearse it, and overanalyze it until our thoughts start turning against us.

But here’s the thing: overthinking doesn’t make us broken. It means we’re wired for depth. It also means we need a different kind of toolkit to survive (and thrive) in our own heads. This is that guide. For us, the chronically in-our-heads trying to find a little more peace inside all the noise.

1. Not Every Thought Deserves a Conference Call

We treat every passing thought like it needs a full meeting, a five-point plan, and follow-up emails. The truth? Some thoughts just aren’t that important… they’re brain static.

Try this: when a thought starts spiraling, ask, “Does this need my attention, or just my awareness?” You don’t have to argue with every worry. Some things just need to pass through, not move in.

2. Our Brains Are Loud, So Our Spaces Need to Be Quiet

When your internal world is a nonstop commentary track, your external environment matters. We’re not saying you need to live in a Zen garden, but small things like soft lighting, calming sounds, or even an uncluttered corner can be emotional oxygen for a busy mind.

Think of it this way: if your head’s a traffic jam, your surroundings can be the off-ramp.

3. Feelings Aren’t Facts (But They’re Still Worth Listening To)

We’re emotional processors. We replay, we regret, we rehearse. That means we often mistake feelings for final judgments. I feel unworthy, starts to sound like I am unworthy. But that’s just a thought dressed up in emotion.

Instead of trying to argue with your feelings, try naming them. “I feel anxious.” Not “I am a mess.” That space between feeling and identity is where we start to breathe again.

4. Mental Loops Are Not Productivity

We think we’re solving problems when we overthink but really, we’re often just running on a treadmill made of worry. The solution? Stop looping, start grounding.

That might mean writing things down instead of repeating them. Or saying out loud, “That’s enough for now.” Even changing your physical posture can disrupt the spiral. Get up, stretch, drink water. Your brain doesn’t have to finish the loop to move on.

5. We’re Allowed to Not Understand Everything Right Now

Overthinkers like us crave closure, clarity, and answers. But sometimes the most freeing thing we can do is admit, “I don’t know yet.” We can live in the tension without solving it today.

Letting go of the need for instant resolution isn’t giving up. It’s trusting that some answers only show up after we stop chasing them.

6. We’re Not a Problem to Be Fixed

This might be the most important reminder: we’re not broken for thinking deeply, or feeling too much, or caring so hard that our thoughts won’t sit still.

Overthinking is often a side effect of intelligence, empathy, trauma, or sensitivity (all of which are human, not flaws). The goal isn’t to erase our nature; it’s to support it better. We don’t need to become less of who we are… just kinder to ourselves in the process.

Final Thought: Let’s Make Room for Our Minds Without Getting Lost in Them

Living in our heads can be exhausting. But it doesn’t have to be a trap. With some awareness, boundaries, and self-compassion, we can turn our inner monologues into something softer, less interrogation, more conversation.

So here’s to us. The thinkers, the feelers, the internal narrators. We’re not alone, and we’re not too much.

We’re just learning how to live well in loud minds.

Riding the Waves: Understanding The Window of Tolerance

July 13, 2025

Ever wonder why some days we can handle life’s chaos with grace, and other days a missed text or dirty dish sends us into a spiral? That’s not just “being sensitive” or “overreacting”…it’s often about something deeper: our Window of Tolerance.

This concept, developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, has completely shifted how we understand ourselves and each other. It’s been a game-changer in our relationship, too. So we wanted to break it down, because knowing your window (and how to widen it) can change the way you live, love, and communicate.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance is the zone where our brain and body feel safe and regulated. When we’re within this window, we can:

• Think clearly

• Feel emotions without being overwhelmed

• Respond instead of react

• Stay connected to others (even during conflict)

But when stress, trauma, anxiety, or overwhelm hits, we can get pushed outside that window. And that’s where things start to feel chaotic.

When We Go Below the Window: Hypoarousal

This is our shutdown zone. Think: numbness, disconnection, dissociation, fatigue, or feeling “frozen.”

We’ve been here when:

• We feel so overwhelmed we just shut down emotionally

• Conversations feel pointless or exhausting

• One of us says, “I don’t even know what I’m feeling” or “I just feel...nothing”

Hypoarousal is your nervous system hitting the brakes. It's trying to protect you by going into survival mode.

When We Go Above the Window: Hyperarousal

This is our fight-or-flight zone. We’re anxious, reactive, defensive, or emotionally flooded.

We’ve been here when:

• Small disagreements escalate quickly

• One of us can’t stop talking or explaining (hello, anxious spirals!)

• Our heart races and we feel like we need to “fix it” immediately

This is your nervous system flooring the gas pedal, trying to keep you safe by staying alert and ready to defend.

Why This Matters in Relationships

Understanding our Window of Tolerance has helped us stop taking things personally and start recognizing nervous system cues.

For example:

• When one of us shuts down, it's not rejection: hypoarousal.

• When one of us is overwhelmed and reactive, it’s not an attack: hyperarousal.

We’ve started asking:

• “Where are you right now? In or out of your window?”

• “What do you need to feel safe enough to come back into your window?”

This shift in language invites connection over conflict.

How to Return to the Window

If you notice yourself (or your partner) outside the window, don’t panic. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s regulation. Here’s what helps us:

For Hyperarousal (Too much energy):

• Deep belly breathing

• Taking a break from conversation

• Grounding exercises like holding ice or noticing 5 things we can see

For Hypoarousal (Too little energy):

• Gentle movement (walking, stretching)

• Warmth (tea, a cozy blanket)

• Music that uplifts or energizes

• Talking to a safe, supportive person

We also practice naming it: “I think I’m out of my window right now.” That alone can diffuse tension and create a path back to connection.

Widening the Window Over Time

The more we practice nervous system awareness, the more resilient we become. That means:

• We bounce back faster after stress

• We stay regulated during harder conversations

• We stay with each other instead of spiraling apart

Therapy, mindfulness, movement, and nervous system education have all helped us expand our window. And it’s still a work in progress (which is completely okay).

Let’s Normalize This Conversation

If more couples, families, and communities understood the Window of Tolerance, we’d have a lot more compassion and a lot less conflict.

This language gives us tools. It gives us permission to be human.

So the next time one of us seems distant, reactive, or emotionally flat, maybe ask:
“Are you outside your window?” instead of “What’s wrong with you?”

We’re learning that emotional safety is not just about love… it’s about regulation.

If you’ve ever felt “too much” or “not enough,” this isn’t about being broken. It’s about being dysregulated. And you can come back into your window. We all can. Together.

Is This Still Us? Navigating Relationship Doubt Together

July 6, 2025

Doubt. It’s not the thing we ever imagined writing about, especially as a couple who’s committed to growth, communication, and love. But the truth is, even strong relationships hit moments where everything feels uncertain. Sometimes we find ourselves asking:
Is this still working? Are we still aligned?

And the scariest part? These questions don’t always come after big fights or betrayals. Sometimes they show up in the quiet, during dinner, in a passing look, or in the silence between words.

So, we wanted to open up about what it really feels like to doubt your relationship, and what to look for when trying to figure out whether to lean in and reconnect or lovingly let go.

What Doubt Looks Like in a Relationship

Doubt doesn’t always shout. It creeps in, subtle and slow. For us (and for many others we know), it’s looked like:

• Feeling emotionally distant even when we’re sitting right next to each other

• Wondering if we’re just “going through the motions”

• Fantasizing about different versions of our future (not necessarily because we want someone else, but because we’re unsure of us)

• Holding back instead of being fully honest or vulnerable

• Feeling like roommates instead of partners

These moments are painful and confusing. And if you’re experiencing them, you’re not alone. The presence of doubt doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. But it does mean it’s time to pay attention.

Why We Doubt: Understanding the Roots

We’ve learned through our relationship (and through the lens of therapy and self-work) that doubt can come from many places:

• Attachment styles from our childhoods impacting how we connect and trust

• Life transitions like career changes, loss, or becoming parents that shift our dynamic

• Personal growth pulling us in new directions… sometimes together, sometimes apart

• Unmet needs we haven’t figured out how to communicate clearly

• Deep values misalignment that becomes harder to ignore with time

The goal isn’t to avoid doubt. It’s to explore it together without shame, without defensiveness, and without jumping to conclusions.

How We Explore Doubt (Together)

When we’ve felt stuck in the fog, here’s what’s helped us:

1. Naming it. Saying out loud, “Something feels off,” without needing to fix it right away.

2. Writing about it. Separately and together, journaling what we’re feeling and what we’re needing.

3. Creating space for hard conversations. Not just when things blow up, but intentionally without distractions.

4. Therapy (solo and together). Having someone outside the relationship reflect things back to us has been game-changing.

5. Asking better questions. Like, “What would closeness look like right now?” or “Are we growing in the same direction?”

When It Might Be Time to Let Go

We’re not advocates of staying in relationships that diminish who we are. And while we believe in doing the work, we also believe in honoring when it’s time to say goodbye.

Here are signs we (or couples we know) have faced that made the path clearer:

• The relationship feels emotionally unsafe, or there’s any form of abuse

• Respect has eroded and been replaced by contempt or indifference

• There have been multiple betrayals with little movement toward healing

• One or both of us has grown in a way that the other simply can’t support

• We feel more like ourselves outside the relationship than inside it

• The idea of staying feels heavy, not because of fear but because of truth

Letting go isn’t a failure. Sometimes, it’s the most loving choice we can make for ourselves and for each other.

Doubt as an Invitation

What we’ve come to believe is this: Doubt isn’t always a sign something’s wrong. Sometimes, it’s a doorway to something deeper. More connection. More truth. More honesty.

Whether you’re in a season of questioning or simply feeling the quiet distance growing, you’re not alone. We’ve been there. Some days, we’re still there.

But we also know that asking the hard questions is a sign of care. Doubt doesn’t mean the love is gone. It might just mean it’s time to realign, recommit or release.

Whatever path you’re on, you deserve a relationship that feels honest, safe, and alive.

Career Anxiety Is Exhausting. Here's How to Cope (Therapist-Approved)

June 29, 2025

Your job shouldn’t feel like a 24/7 panic attack. Career anxiety is real and you’re not lazy.

You’re staring at your laptop with a pit in your stomach. Your to-do list is growing faster than your paycheck, and every Slack notification feels like a jump scare. Meanwhile, your brain whispers:

• “You should be doing more.”

• “You’re falling behind.”

• “Everyone else has it figured out.”

Welcome to the millennial career anxiety spiral, brought to you by capitalism, student debt, hustle culture, and the belief that your job should be your identity and your passion project and your purpose.

Spoiler: That’s not sustainable. But don’t worry… therapy has tools for that!

First, What Is Career Anxiety?

It’s that chronic sense of unease, dread, or pressure related to work, money, success, or the future. It can show up as:

• Impostor syndrome

• Burnout

• Fear of failure (or success!)

• Constant comparison

• Paralysis when making decisions

Sound familiar? You’re not alone… and you’re not broken.

Therapist-Approved Tools to Help You Cope

1. Cognitive Reframing (aka Stop Believing Every Thought You Think)

Your brain says: “I’m not good enough.”
You say: “Cool story, brain. What’s the evidence for that?”

Reframing is about challenging anxious, irrational thoughts and replacing them with more grounded, balanced ones.

Try this: Write down your anxious thought. Then ask:

What is this thought trying to protect me from?

What’s a more compassionate way to view this?

If a friend said this, what would I say to them?

2. Set Boundaries Like a Therapist Would

Therapists don’t take client calls at 11 p.m. Why are you answering work emails at midnight?

Boundary tip: Create a work shutdown ritual. Close your laptop. Say, “Work is done for today.” Literally say it out loud. Your nervous system needs the cue.

3. Somatic Practices to Calm Your Body (Not Just Your Mind)

Career anxiety isn’t just in your head. It lives in your body. Heart racing, jaw clenching, chest tightening? That’s your nervous system in overdrive.

Try this:

Shake it out (literally shake your arms and legs for 30 seconds)

Box breathing: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4

Lay on the floor with your legs up the wall for 5 minutes

Your body needs to feel safe before your brain can problem-solve.

4. Values Clarification

Sometimes anxiety is actually your intuition whispering, “This job isn’t aligned.” Are you hustling for something that doesn’t match who you are anymore?

Ask yourself:

What do I value more than money or prestige?

What kind of life do I want to build and is this job helping or hurting that?

Therapists call this “values-based living.” You don’t have to love your job, but it shouldn’t be crushing your soul.

5. Get Out of Your Own Head (aka Externalization)

Talk to a therapist. Or a friend. Or journal it. Your anxious brain is like a messy desktop. Things feel more manageable once you drag them into the open.

Try this:

Journal prompt: “What am I afraid might happen if I fail at work? And what would I do if that actually happened?”

Talk it out with someone who won’t just say “You’ll be fine,” but will sit in the messy middle with you.

Bonus Tool: Redefine "Success"

Not every career move has to be a ladder climb. What if success looked like:

• Working fewer hours and having more joy?

• Saying “no” to projects that drain you?

• Doing work you like without tying your entire identity to it?

Success that honours your mental health is still success.

Final Thought

Career anxiety doesn’t mean you’re failing… it means you care. It means you’re trying. And it means your body and mind are asking for a new way to do life.

With the right tools (and maybe a therapist), you can build a career that doesn’t cost you your well-being.

You deserve peace, not just a paycheck.

Healing Your Inner Child: A Guide for Millennials

June 22, 2025

Wait... I Have an Inner Child?

Yep. You sure do. And no, this isn’t just some woo-woo therapy concept floating around on Instagram.

Your inner child is the emotional imprint of who you were growing up especially before you had the tools to understand or express your feelings. It’s the part of you that still holds the fears, joys, beliefs, and coping mechanisms you developed in childhood. And if you’ve ever overreacted, shut down, or gotten emotionally triggered in a way that didn’t match the moment well that’s your inner child waving frantically from the back seat.

Why Millennials in Particular Need Inner Child Work

We are the “suck it up” generation. Raised in the shadow of boomers who didn’t talk about emotions and Gen Xers who really didn’t talk about emotions, we got:

• “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

• “You’re too sensitive.”

• “Because I said so.”

Add in a sprinkle of divorce, a dash of unprocessed generational trauma, and a heaping spoonful of performative perfection (thanks, social media)... and boom: we’re adults who hustle hard but often feel lost, anxious, or like we’re never “enough.”

Sound familiar?

So What Does Healing Your Inner Child Actually Mean?

It means meeting the emotional needs you didn’t get met when you were younger, but now doing it as an aware, loving adult.

It’s not about blaming your parents forever. It’s about recognizing what shaped you and choosing to rewrite the story.

Signs Your Inner Child Might Need Some Love

• You people-please until you’re drained, then resent everyone.

• You constantly seek validation and fear rejection.

• You avoid conflict like it’s lava.

• You shame yourself for having “too many” emotions.

• You overachieve or self-sabotage in cycles.

Sound like your weekend plans? Don’t worry… healing is possible.

A Millennial-Friendly Guide to Inner Child Work

1. Meet Them

Find a photo of you as a kid. Keep it somewhere visible. Talk to them, seriously. Say, “Hey, I see you. I know you were scared and trying your best.”

It might feel weird. Do it anyway.

2. Feel What They Felt

That ache you avoid? That sadness you scroll past? That frustration that turns into anger? Underneath it is probably a younger you who felt confused, scared, or unloved. Let yourself feel it now, safely, with compassion.

3. Reparent Yourself

Ask: What did I need then that I didn’t get? Safety? Encouragement? Comfort? Then give that to yourself now. Set boundaries. Say kind things to yourself. Allow rest without guilt.

4. Play Again

Seriously. Color. Dance. Sing badly. Watch cartoons. Your inner child doesn’t care how cool your apartment aesthetic is (they want to feel alive).

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy (especially inner child or parts work like IFS) can help you navigate this gently. Your healing doesn’t have to be DIY.

Real Talk: Inner Child Healing Isn’t Linear

Some days you’ll feel empowered. Other days you’ll cry because a TikTok reminded you of your emotionally unavailable dad. That’s okay. Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.

Final Thought

You are not broken! You’re carrying old survival strategies that once made sense. Your inner child doesn’t need you to fix everything. They just need to know you’re listening now.

So pause. Breathe. Maybe hug yourself. And say:

“I’ve got you. I’m here now. You’re safe with me.”

And that? That’s powerful healing.

Navigating Dating and Attachment Styles

June 15, 2025

Let’s be real: dating in the 2020s can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube... while blindfolded... during an earthquake. You match, you vibe, you trauma-bond over your exes and then boom, ghosted. Or maybe you’re the one panicking because they texted back too fast (what is that about?).

Here’s the truth no one told us in health class: your attachment style might be driving the entire ship (or crashing it).

Welcome to therapy-informed dating, where we take emotional responsibility, sip our iced oat lattes, and work through our avoidant tendencies like grown-ups (mostly).

So, What Even Is an Attachment Style?

In simple terms, your attachment style is how you relate to others in close relationships, emotionally, mentally, and behaviourally. It forms early in life based on how you bonded (or didn’t) with your caregivers. And unless you've done some therapy or deep introspection, your attachment style might be steering your love life more than your actual preferences.

There are four main types:

1. Secure: You’re comfortable with intimacy and independence. You communicate well. You’re the unicorn.

2. Anxious: You crave closeness but fear abandonment. Your texts have subtexts. You spiral.

3. Avoidant: You value independence so much, closeness feels like a threat. Emotional vulnerability? Hard pass.

4. Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized): You want closeness but also fear it. Basically, your inner child is in a constant push-pull.

Therapy-Informed Dating Looks Like This

1. Awareness > Blame

Instead of saying “Ugh, he’s so avoidant,” try, “I wonder what part of my attachment style is reacting here?” The goal isn’t to pathologize your date. It’s to understand your reactions and patterns.

2. Check Your Triggers

If you're anxious, a slow reply might feel like rejection. If you're avoidant, a sweet text might feel suffocating. When that nervous system kicks in, pause. Is this about them, or a familiar emotional blueprint from the past?

Therapist Tip: Regulate before you react. Breathe, journal, text your therapist instead of your situationship.

3. Talk About It (Yes, Really)

The right person will be open to these conversations. You don’t need to say, “My abandonment wound is being activated,” but you can say, “Sometimes I get in my head when I don’t hear back… just letting you know where I’m at.”

It’s terrifying. But it’s also wildly freeing.

Green Flags in a Therapy-Informed Relationship

• You can disagree without fearing the relationship will end.

• You feel seen, not “managed.”

• They’re curious about how you feel, not defensive.

• Both of you are doing some version of emotional work (therapy, journaling, reading, not just reposting quotes on Instagram).

Rewriting Your Love Story

Here’s the best part: attachment styles aren’t fixed. They’re patterns, not prisons. Through therapy, self-awareness, and relational experiences, you can shift from anxious or avoidant to more secure over time.

Your love life doesn’t have to be ruled by your past. You get to choose differently. You get to pause, notice the red flag, and walk away instead of chasing it. You get to lean into connection even when it feels scary.

Final Thoughts

Therapy-informed dating isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up with curiosity, honesty, and a willingness to unpack your emotional baggage (without dumping it on someone else’s doorstep).

You’re not “too much.” You’re not “bad at relationships.” You’re just learning how to love like a securely attached person in a world that didn’t exactly teach us how.

From Bottling It Up to Booking Therapy: The Mental Health Glow-Up

June 8, 2025

If you’d told our teenage selves that one day we’d be openly talking about therapy on the internet and sharing our feelings with strangers. We would’ve laughed, cried (privately, of course), and changed the subject immediately.

But here we are. A little older, a little wiser, and deeply committed to emotional health, not just for ourselves, but for you, too. And we have to say it: therapy isn’t taboo anymore. It’s trending. (Finally.)

And weirdly enough, we have TikTok and a whole lot of emotional burnout to thank.

Rewind: Mental Health Was Once a Dirty Word

Many of us grew up in a time when emotions were to be swallowed, not spoken. “You’re fine.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Keep it to yourself.” Sound familiar?

Therapy, if it was mentioned at all, was reserved for people in serious crisis, not for everyday stress, relationship struggles, or figuring out how to stop overthinking everything at 3 a.m. And definitely not for exploring who we are, what we need, or how to set boundaries without guilt.

But now, more of us are realizing something important: you don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to get help. You can go to therapy just because you want to grow.

Enter: Therapy (aka the Best Money We've Ever Spent)

We’ve seen firsthand (in ourselves and in our clients) how transformative therapy can be. It’s not about fixing what’s “broken”. It’s about understanding yourself, building healthier relationships, and making room for real healing.

Therapy teaches you things like:

• That boundaries are a form of self-respect, not rejection.

• That your emotions even the intense, inconvenient, or confusing ones are valid.

• That vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s courage in motion.

• And that crying over a commercial doesn’t mean you’re unwell. It means you’re human.

TikTok: The Surprisingly Valid Therapist on Your For You Page

We’ll admit it… we’ve seen those TikToks, too. The ones where someone explains anxious attachment or shares a grounding exercise that hits just right. And honestly? We’re here for it.

Is there misinformation out there? Sure. But there’s also a growing wave of creators including real therapists and advocates making emotional insight more accessible than ever.

Sometimes a 60-second video is the first nudge someone needs to say, “Maybe I could talk to someone.”

We’re Talking About Feelings — Finally

Let’s be honest. Millennials are done pretending to be okay.

We’re talking about anxiety on first dates.
We’re asking our friends how their hearts are, not just their jobs.
We’re learning to cry without apologizing. (Still working on that one.)

And we’re realizing that vulnerability isn’t cringe… it’s connection.

We see it every day in our work: people showing up, being brave, and doing the inner work even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

The Mental Health Glow-Up

Our generation is rewriting the script. We’re choosing:

• Therapy over toxic positivity.

• Rest over hustle.

• Healing over hiding.

We’re becoming the emotionally intelligent adults we wish we had growing up.

Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments. It’s for building a life that feels aligned, present, and more peaceful. It’s for processing, healing, laughing, crying, untangling, and growing. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Whether you’re curious, nervous, or unsure where to start, that’s okay. Therapy meets you exactly where you are.

And if you’re already on this journey: we’re proud of you. Keep going.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a therapy session to hold… and probably a TikTok to tear up at later. (It’s always the soft piano music that gets us.)

Why Minimalism Isn’t Just a Trend… It’s Survival!

June 1, 2025

Let’s get one thing straight: we didn’t choose the minimalist life. The minimalist life chose us... mostly because rent is absurd, storage is a myth, and mental space is the new luxury.

Sure, minimalism looks chic on Instagram (white walls, neutral linen, a single succulent). But for us? It’s deeper than that. It’s not just a vibe. It’s a survival strategy.

Welcome to the Clutter Crisis™

Between fast fashion hauls, impulse buys, and the Amazon cart we swore we wouldn’t check out (but did at 2am), it’s easy to feel buried physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We looked around one day and realized we were drowning in stuff we didn’t even like.

Closets full of clothes, but nothing to wear.
Drawers full of cords, but none of them fit our current devices.
Shelves full of books we swear we’ll read someday (lies).

And it wasn’t just physical clutter… it was mental, too. Notifications, to-do lists, constant comparisons, and the pressure to keep up with a lifestyle we didn’t even want.

Minimalism was our way of taking the wheel back.

Minimalism = Mental Clarity

We started small. Fewer clothes. Less decor. One less streaming service (still mourning HBO Max, but we’ll survive).

And slowly, things got lighter. Our space felt calmer. Our heads felt clearer. We stopped waking up overwhelmed by the chaos of our own home.

Decluttering wasn’t just about stuff. It was about creating room to breathe. Room for what matters. Room for nothing at all and how often do we get that?

The Sustainable Side of Saying “No”

Let’s talk about the elephant in the online shopping cart: sustainability.

We live on a planet that’s literally overheating, and consuming less is one of the few things we can do that actually helps. Minimalism, for us, became a form of conscious rebellion. Against overconsumption, against waste, against “retail therapy” as the cure for emotional burnout.

Do we still buy things? Of course. But now we ask:

• Do we need it?

• Will we use it?

• Do we love it enough to dust it every week?

If it doesn’t spark joy, meet a real need, or look good enough to distract from our unmade bed (it doesn’t make the cut).

Minimalism Isn’t About Having Less.
It’s About Making Space for More

More time.
More peace.
More intention.
More appreciation for what we already have.

And listen, we’re not perfect. Sometimes we still buy that cute thing from the “TikTok made me buy it” section. But we’re doing our best to live lighter for our sanity, our space, and the planet.

So no, we’re not minimalists because it’s trendy. We’re minimalists because it’s the only way we can breathe in a world that never stops shouting, MORE!

We’re not here to live with less just to be aesthetic. We’re here to live with less so we can finally feel free!

Burned Out and Over It: The Radical Act of Choosing Rest

May 25, 2025

Once upon a time, we thought burnout was a rite of passage. If you weren’t running on caffeine, stress, and vague existential dread, were you even doing adulthood right?

We used to wear our exhaustion like it was designer. We’d say things like “I’m soooo busy” with the same pride someone might announce they just got engaged. But spoiler alert: being tired 24/7 is not a personality trait. It’s a red flag. For us, it took a few stress meltdowns, a mysterious rash (probably anxiety), and a solid week of talking to each other solely in memes before we realized (maybe this whole hustle-til-you-drop thing isn’t it!?)

The Grind Is Not Your Bestie

Let’s be honest, hustle culture had us in a chokehold. We grew up thinking success looked like 60-hour workweeks, inboxes with zero unread emails (LOL), and side hustles stacked on top of full-time jobs like pancakes.

Rest? That was something we earned after proving ourselves. Like a treat. For dogs.

And it’s not just us. Millennials collectively have a PhD in burnout. We’re the generation that thought taking our laptop to the beach was “balance.” (It’s not. Sand in the keyboard = chaos.)

Our “Oh Crap, We’re Fried” Moment

Eventually, we hit a wall. We weren’t sleeping, we weren’t present, and one of us had an actual spreadsheet to keep track of stress symptoms. (Yes, really.)

So we did something radical: we stopped.

We slept in. We took breaks without guilt. We didn’t answer emails past 6 PM. And guess what? The universe didn’t implode. No one revoked our “productive human” membership card. In fact, we felt... dare we say... alive again?

Rest Is the New Flex

Here’s the thing: rest isn’t lazy. It’s revolutionary. Especially in a culture that’s constantly telling us we should be doing more, achieving faster, and turning every hobby into a monetized side hustle.

Rest says: “I’m enough even when I’m not producing.”
Rest says: “That 3-hour nap? Yeah, that was the meeting.”
Rest says: “My worth isn’t measured in unread Slack messages.”

We’re done confusing burnout with ambition. We’re done glamorizing busy. We’re done thinking a mental breakdown in a Trader Joe’s parking lot is a sign of grit.

What We're Doing Instead:

• Setting boundaries like it’s our job (because it kind of is).

• Saying no to things that drain us even if they sound fun in theory.

• Taking breaks without narrating them to Instagram.

• Romanticizing naps, long walks, and doing absolutely nothing productive.

Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Earn Rest

If you’re exhausted, you’re not alone. If you’re tired of pretending to be okay while your left eye twitches from stress… same.

This is your permission slip: take the nap. Cancel the plans. Say no to the extra project. Do less.

Because in this house, we don’t glorify burnout. We glorify rest, joy, and deep breaths that don’t come with a side of guilt.

Burnout is out. Soft mornings, slow living, and nervous system regulation? In.

Now excuse us, we’re off to do absolutely nothing (and we’re proud of it).

You Can’t Heal in the Same Environment That Hurt You (and That’s Not Weakness, That’s Wisdom)

May 18, 2025

Let’s just be real: healing is hard enough already. But trying to heal in the exact same space, around the same people, or inside the same patterns that broke you in the first place? That’s like trying to patch a sinking boat while it’s still out at sea, with waves crashing around you.

It’s not impossible... but it’s going to drown you before it saves you.

Familiar Doesn’t Always Mean Safe

Sometimes we stay in environments (relationships, family dynamics, jobs, even headspaces) that look familiar but feel awful. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that comfort = safety.

But here’s the kicker: comfort can be trauma in disguise when it’s what we’ve always known.

That house where no one ever apologized?
That friend group where you had to shrink to belong?
That job where your boundaries are seen as "bad attitude"?
That inner voice that tells you you're too sensitive or too much?

Yeah. Those places may feel “normal” but that doesn't mean they’re healthy. And they sure as hell aren’t healing.

Growth Feels Like Discomfort, Not Like Familiarity

One of the hardest truths to swallow is that sometimes, in order to grow, you have to go. Okay, we know that sounds scary. Maybe even impossible. But here's what we also know: staying where your nervous system is constantly in survival mode won’t get you to the healing you're craving. You can’t process your wounds in a space that keeps reopening them. You can’t learn softness where you had to be hard just to survive.

What Leaving Can Look Like

Leaving doesn’t always mean physically walking away (though sometimes it absolutely does).

Sometimes it means:

• Setting a boundary and actually sticking to it.

• Saying “this isn’t okay” for the first time.

• Changing the subject when a conversation turns toxic.

• Creating emotional distance from someone you still love.

• Choosing silence instead of defending yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you.

It can be messy. Imperfect. Slow. But every time you choose you, you’re choosing healing.

Healing Needs Breathing Room

You deserve a space where your nervous system can exhale.
Where you’re not constantly scanning for danger.
Where you're allowed to be soft, uncertain, messy, and still held.

Sometimes that space is a new city. Sometimes it’s a therapist’s office. Sometimes it’s just the quiet of your own company after a boundary has been held.

But make no mistake: healing asks for new soil. You can’t expect to bloom in the same place that buried you.

Here’s the Truth You Already Know

If you’re reading this and something in you is whispering, this is about me… trust that voice. You’re not being dramatic. You’re not being selfish. You’re not abandoning anyone.

You’re choosing yourself.

And that? That is the beginning of something sacred.

How to Start Paying Attention to How Your Life Feels and Not Just How It Looks

May 11, 2025

Let’s just say it out loud: it’s really easy to build a life that looks good on paper and still feel kind of… empty inside.

You’ve got the job, maybe the relationship, the curated Instagram moments, the adulting badge collection (mortgage? check. meal prep? check. smiles at awkward family gatherings? check) and yet, there’s this nagging whisper:

“Why doesn’t this feel better?”

We want to tell you something we tell a lot of people in therapy, usually after they’ve twisted themselves into knots trying to get it right:

Just because your life looks good, doesn’t mean it feels good. And your feelings matter. Like, deeply.

The Performance Trap

We’re taught early on sometimes directly, sometimes through side-eye at Thanksgiving that there’s a “right” way to live:

• Go to college.

• Land a good job.

• Settle down.

• Buy a house.

• Have kids.

• Don’t rock the boat.

And somewhere along the way, we start measuring our lives in achievements, likes, milestones, and silent comparisons.

We perform stability. We perform happiness. We perform the version of ourselves we think people expect. But performance is exhausting. Especially when what’s happening on the outside doesn’t line up with what’s going on inside.

So What Do You Do?

You start paying attention. Not to the optics. Not to the highlight reel. But to you… your body, your mind, your needs.

Here’s how you start shifting:

1. Ask yourself real questions.

Not “What will people think?” but “What do I want?”
Not “Will this look good?” but “Will this feel good?”

Get quiet. Go inward. Your answers are in there, under all the noise.

2. Notice what drains you.

Are you doing things out of joy or out of obligation and fear of judgment? If you feel wiped after doing something that’s supposed to “look good,” that’s information.

3. Celebrate what feels like you.

Wear the outfit you actually love, not the one that looks the part. Be honest in conversations. Say no when your body says no. These things seem small, but they’re revolutionary.

4. Let some stuff go.

Yes, even if it impresses people. Even if your high school classmates would gasp. Even if your parents wouldn’t get it. You are not a billboard for other people’s comfort.

5. Talk to someone who can handle your real.

Your messy, uncertain, not-sure-what’s-next self. The one who’s tired of pretending. Whether it’s a friend, therapist, or journal, give yourself a space to stop performing and just be.

The Truth?

The life that feels good might not always look the way you imagined. It might be slower. Quieter. Less “impressive.” It might involve starting over, setting boundaries, or disappointing people you love.

But it will be yours. And that’s what you deserve. A life that doesn’t just sparkle in photos but actually feels good to live inside of.

You deserve ease. Alignment. Peace. You deserve to come home to yourself.

So here’s your permission to stop chasing the version of life that looks perfect and start creating one that actually feels like home. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to impress anyone to be worthy. You’re allowed to live a life that makes sense to you, even if no one claps for it. Because the quiet kind of joy… the real, rooted kind? That’s where the magic lives. And you’re allowed to have that.

Living with Society’s Expectations: Marriage, Kids, and the “Ideal Life”

May 4, 2025

We grow up surrounded by stories. From the books we read to the movies we watch, to the conversations at dinner tables and family reunions, there’s a common thread: the “life path” we’re all supposedly meant to follow. We’re told to graduate, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, be happy.

For some, this timeline brings comfort. For others, it becomes a source of anxiety, shame, or confusion (especially when life doesn’t unfold in that neatly packaged way).

As Psychotherapists, we’ve sat with many people who quietly ask themselves: What’s wrong with me if I don’t want these things? Or if I do want them, but they just haven’t happened?

Here’s the truth: there’s nothing wrong with you!

The Silent Pressure of "Should"

Society has a powerful way of planting the word “should” into our lives:

• “You should be married by now.”

• “You should have kids.”

• “You should own a home.”

• “You should be further along.”

These “shoulds” are often invisible, unspoken rules that shape our sense of worth, belonging, and success. They show up in conversations with family members, social media feeds, and internal comparisons with peers. But these expectations are not universal truths. They are cultural narratives. And just like stories, they can be rewritten.

When Life Looks Different

Whether you’re single at 40, child-free by choice or circumstance, still renting in your 30s, or working a job that wasn’t your “dream career,” you might feel like you’re somehow behind.

Let this sit in… You’re not!

There are a thousand reasons why people don’t meet societal milestones and none of them make you less valuable, lovable, or whole. Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all path. And fulfillment isn’t limited to a checklist.

In fact, many people who “did everything right” still find themselves grappling with emptiness, doubt, or regret. Why? Because external achievements don’t always match internal needs.

The Grief No One Talks About

Part of what makes this experience hard is the grief that comes with it. Not just grief for what we didn’t get, but also grief for what we thought life would look like.

This grief is often unspoken or minimized (especially when others can’t see it). But it’s real. And it deserves compassion. You’re allowed to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or lost. You’re allowed to question your path, change direction, or create new definitions of success.

Rewriting the Story

Living outside of society’s expectations isn’t failure. It’s freedom. But it takes courage.

It takes courage to ask: What do I want? What matters to me? Who am I outside of these roles and timelines?

And from there, you get to write your own version of what a meaningful life looks like.

Maybe it’s found in deep friendships, creative pursuits, travel, activism, spirituality, or something entirely your own. Whatever it is, it’s valid.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re struggling with the weight of societal expectations, know that you’re not alone. Many people are quietly wrestling with the same questions.

It’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to feel like you’re in between chapters. And it’s more than okay to seek support whether from friends, community, or therapy.

You deserve a life that fits you (regardless of how others try to influence it). And even if that life looks nothing like what you imagined at 18, it can still be rich, joyful, and deeply fulfilling.

When Friendships Fade: Losing People, But Finding Yourself

April 27, 2025

We’ve all lost friends. Sometimes in slow fades, other times in painful, unexpected endings. It could’ve been a best friend from childhood, a college roommate, someone we thought would stand beside us at every major life milestone. And yet, life shifted. We grew in different directions. They left. Or maybe we did.

It hurts. But here’s the quiet truth many of us learn in the aftermath:

Sometimes losing people is exactly how we begin to find ourselves.

The Quiet Grief of Losing Friends

Friendship loss doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves. There are no funerals for friendships. No formal goodbyes. Just a slow change in tone, fewer texts, canceled plans, or a gut-wrenching argument that leaves things fractured. And still, it lingers. The ache. The nostalgia. The wondering what went wrong.

We grieve not just the person, but who we were with them (the comfort, the memories, the version of ourselves that existed in that space). But even as the pain settles in, something else starts to rise: Clarity.

Outgrowing Isn’t Failing

Here’s what we’re often not told: outgrowing people isn’t a betrayal. It’s a part of becoming. As we grow, heal, change, and become more aligned with who we truly are, not every friendship will survive that shift.

And that’s okay.

Some friendships were meant for a season. They taught us what we needed to learn, offered love while it fit, and then quietly or suddenly made space for us to move forward.

Outgrowing what no longer fits is a sign we’re evolving. We don’t know who needs to hear this but… there is no shame in that!

In the Space They Leave Behind

When the noise fades, the group chats go quiet, the routines change, we’re left with space. It can feel lonely. But it can also be sacred.

In that silence, we start to hear ourselves again. We begin to ask better questions:

1. Who am I now?

2. What kind of people do I want around me?

3. What kind of friend do I want to be to others and to myself?

   We begin choosing differently. Not out of bitterness, but out of alignment. And slowly, we start calling in people who feel like home… the ones who honour our truth, not just our history.

To Anyone Letting Go and Starting Over

If you’re walking through the loss of a friendship right now, know this:

1. You’re not weak for feeling heartbroken.

2. You’re not cold for setting boundaries or walking away.

3. You’re not alone in this kind of grief.

Sometimes we lose people we never thought we’d live without, and somehow, we still bloom. We find our voice, our strength, and our peace. And maybe, most importantly, we find the version of ourselves we were always meant to return to.

Sometimes the people we lose create the space for us to become who we were always meant to be. And while letting go is never easy, choosing ourselves is always worth it.

So if you’re in that space right now (mourning a friendship, questioning what went wrong, or sitting with the ache of distance) know that you’re not alone. So many of us have been there, quietly grieving the people who once felt like home. But in that loss, we also begin to find something new: strength, clarity, and a deeper connection to who we are becoming. And while the path forward might feel unfamiliar at first, it’s leading us somewhere beautiful… back to ourselves.

The Hardest Goodbye: Grieving the Loss of a Soul Pet

April 20, 2025

This past week, we said goodbye to our childhood dog, our best friend of 15 years. Writing that sentence still catches in our throats. We got her when we were young teenagers, and we basically grew up together. Every phase of our lives (the good, the hard, the chaotic, the beautiful), she was there. Always.

We walk past the spot where her bed used to be and instinctively look for her. We still pause before opening the front door, expecting to see her waiting for us with her little bark.

This grief? It’s real. And it’s messy.

This Isn’t “Just a Dog”

We’ve heard the phrases like “She had a good long life,” “You’ll get another one,” or the classic, “At least it wasn’t a person.” We know people mean well, but if you’ve ever truly loved an animal, you know that kind of love doesn’t slot neatly into categories.

She wasn’t just a dog. She was the one who curled up beside us when we felt anxious and like we couldn’t catch our breath. She was there for the heartbreaks, the all-nighters, the quiet Sunday mornings, and the dance parties in the kitchen. She witnessed parts of us that no one else will ever fully understand. And she accepted all of it without judgment, without conditions.

Losing her is like losing a chapter of ourselves.

When Grief Feels Quiet but Heavy

Pet loss is a strange kind of grief. It’s deeply personal and often deeply invisible. There’s no funeral, no bereavement leave. Just this lingering ache that shows up when you least expect it. Like when you're vacuuming and find one last stray hair, or when you instinctively reach to grab two treats instead of one.

We’ve had moments where we felt silly for crying so hard. But then we remember: this was a 15-year love story. Of course it hurts.

And if you're going through this too, we want to say it clearly: your grief is valid. You're not overreacting. You're not being dramatic. You're heartbroken, because you loved deeply. That’s not weakness. That’s beautiful.

How We’re Coping (And How You Can Too)

Honestly? We’re still in it. We’re still figuring out what healing even looks like. But here are some things that are helping us, slowly, gently:

• Talking about them – Even when it makes us cry. Telling stories keeps them close.

• Letting ourselves grieve on our own timeline – No rushing. No forcing ourselves to be "okay."

• Writing this post – Because if you're reading this and you're hurting too, we want you to know you're not alone in this kind of heartbreak.

Love Doesn’t End Here

They say grief is love with nowhere to go but we don't fully believe that. We think the love does go somewhere. It reshapes us. It softens us. It makes us more patient, more present, more human. The love our dog gave us, that unconditional, pure kind of love is still with us. It’s just... quieter now.

If you’re grieving a pet right now, we hope you’ll allow yourself to feel it. Cry if you need to. Talk about them. Keep their memory alive in whatever way feels right. There’s no “right” way to grieve. There’s just your way.

And if no one has said it to you yet… we are so sorry for your loss. We know how big that loss really is. Your grief is valid. You're not overreacting. You're not being dramatic. You're heartbroken, because you loved deeply. That’s not weakness. That’s beautiful. You loved them well. And they knew it. That love will always, always matter.

How to Trust and Date Again After Being Cheated On (Without Losing Your Mind)

April 6, 2025

If you’ve ever had your heart shattered by someone you trusted, you’re not alone. Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences, leaving you questioning everything (from your worth to your ability to ever trust someone again). We get it. You’ve been through the wringer. Someone you loved and trusted has shattered that trust in the most painful way possible. And now, here you are, standing at the edge of the dating world, wondering how the hell you're supposed to start trusting again.

As psychotherapists who work with people just like you. People who’ve been hurt, people who’ve had their hearts stomped on and their trust broken, we want to tell you something: It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel like your heart might never fully heal. But also… it will. We promise. It just takes time, work, and a few laughs along the way. So, if you're ready to dive into how to trust and date again after being cheated on, let’s go.

Step 1: Feel Your Feelings (Even the Ugly Ones)

First, let’s be real: When you’ve been cheated on, you’re dealing with a whole buffet of emotions such as hurt, anger, confusion, betrayal, and probably a touch of "What the hell was I thinking?" But here’s the thing: all those feelings are completely valid. The pain of being betrayed isn’t something you just "get over." It’s a process. And the first step? Let yourself feel.

You might feel like crying in your car (been there, done that), or maybe you’re super mad and fantasizing about confronting your ex with a well-timed, “I hope you choke on your own lies” (okay, maybe don’t do that… but we get it). Whatever it is, let those feelings out. Acknowledge them. You can’t heal what you’re not willing to feel! So, give yourself permission to grieve the relationship. It doesn’t matter if it was two months or ten years. Betrayal stings. But remember: You are not your pain. Feel it, but don’t get stuck there.

Step 2: Stop Blaming Yourself (Seriously, Stop)

Oh, the mind games that come after cheating. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably asked yourself some version of, “Was I not good enough? Was I too much? What did I do wrong?”

STOP IT. Let us say that again: STOP IT. This isn’t about you. The person who cheated on you made a choice. A bad, selfish choice and it has nothing to do with your worth as a person.

Sure, you might’ve had your own flaws (who doesn’t?), but no one deserves to be betrayed. The person who cheated on you isn’t a reflection of you, and neither is their behaviour. It’s a reflection of them.

You are worthy of love, trust, and respect. Full stop.

Step 3: Start Rebuilding Your Trust (One Tiny Step at a Time)

So, now that you’ve taken a breath and stopped blaming yourself, let’s talk about trust. Rebuilding trust after being cheated on feels like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions (spoiler alert: it’s messy). But here’s the deal: You can do it.

Start small. We don’t mean “let’s jump into a new relationship tomorrow”, that’s a sure-fire way to get your heart broken again. We mean, practice trusting yourself first. Trust that you will make good choices moving forward. Trust that you can set healthy boundaries for yourself. And trust that you will know when someone is being honest with you.

When you’re ready to date again, take it slow. You don’t have to jump back into anything serious. The first few dates may feel like a test run, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace and remember: It’s all about progress, not perfection.

Step 4: Get Comfortable With Setting Boundaries (And Not Apologizing for Them)

After being cheated on, your boundaries need to be your new best friend. These aren’t walls that keep people out; they’re healthy lines in the sand that help you protect your heart, your trust, and your well-being. You’re allowed to say things like, “I need honesty from the start,” or “I’m not okay with someone being shady with their phone.” Trust us when we say this… healthy boundaries are your armor. They don’t make you “too much” or “too demanding.” They make you someone who knows their worth and is unwilling to settle for less.

If someone can’t respect your boundaries, well, that’s their problem, not yours. And you’re not required to make excuses for standing up for yourself.
Say it with us: Boundaries are not optional. They’re essential.

Step 5: When You're Ready, Take the Leap (But Only If It Feels Right)

Okay, let’s talk about dating again. This might feel like the scariest step, but honestly, there's no rush. You don’t have to dive headfirst into dating if you’re not ready. Take your time. No one’s keeping track.

When you do feel ready, go in with an open mind and an open heart. It’s okay if it’s awkward at first. Everyone’s had a weird date or two. And hey, if you’re still figuring out what feels good for you, you can always laugh at the absurdity of it all. Remember: dating after heartbreak is a marathon, not a sprint.

Also, look for red flags early. If someone’s making you feel anxious, uncertain, or constantly second-guessing yourself, don’t ignore it. Your gut knows more than you give it credit for. And just because someone seems charming doesn’t mean they won’t end up being another lesson in why you should never ignore your instincts.

Step 6: Be Kind to Yourself (Even When It’s Hard)

Be kind to yourself. If you need to take a break from dating, take it. If you need to cry in a pile of ice cream and Netflix for a week, go for it. Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t have a deadline. Trust yourself to know when you’re ready to take the next step. And when you’re not? That’s okay too.

Trust isn’t built in a day, and neither is your heart. You’ve been hurt, but you are not defined by that hurt. You’re defined by your ability to rise, to heal, and to love again (starting with yourself).

And hey, in case no one’s told you today: You’re amazing. Even on the hard days.

If you end up on a few awkward dates, remind yourself that it’s all part of the process. You might kiss a few frogs before you find your prince (or at least someone who doesn’t constantly check their phone under the table). But take it one step at a time, and trust that with every weird date, uncomfortable conversation, and awkward silence, you’re getting closer to the right person. So keep your chin up, your standards high, and your needs intact.
You’ll get there.

Redefining Beauty: How Social Media Shapes Our Body Image and What to Do About It

March 30, 2025

We want to start by saying this: you are not alone in how you feel about your body. In fact, you're part of a growing conversation that's shifting the way we think about beauty, self-worth, and how those ideas are influenced by something that's become an inseparable part of our lives. That’s right, we’re talking about social media!

As Psychotherapists, we’ve had many conversations with clients who express frustration, confusion, and sometimes even sadness when comparing themselves to the people they see online. But here's the thing: social media, for all its good, is often a highlight reel. It shows us the best versions of people, the most curated moments, and sometimes, the most unattainable standards of beauty and success. That, in turn, can leave us feeling less than, inadequate, or disconnected from our own unique selves.

The Beauty Filter Trap

Let’s talk about filters and editing for a second. It’s almost become a norm to tweak photos, smooth skin, or enhance features before posting them. While this can be fun, it often creates a distorted version of reality. When we see others post these “perfect” images, it’s easy to start comparing our natural, unfiltered selves and feeling like we fall short. But here’s the truth: nobody looks like their filtered photos all the time (not even the influencers, celebrities, or models).

In therapy, we often help clients explore what’s going on under the surface when they’re struggling with body image. For many, social media fosters the idea that their worth is tied to how they look. It’s subtle, but over time, it seeps in. If you’re someone who’s constantly comparing, it can feel like you’re never quite enough, no matter how many likes or comments you get.

Beauty Standards: Evolving, Yet Still Holding Strong

Let’s talk about beauty standards for a moment. These standards have always existed, but social media has amplified them in ways we’ve never experienced before. We see what’s “in” on the runway one season, and the next, it’s completely different. The pressure to match these ever-changing ideals can be exhausting.

But here’s something that can help you breathe a little easier: beauty standards are not set in stone. They are created by society, influenced by media, and can be reshaped. There’s a growing movement online where people are embracing diverse body types, different skin tones, and all kinds of facial features. This inclusivity is challenging traditional norms, and it’s incredibly powerful.

When you scroll through your feed, consider what messages you’re absorbing. Is it telling you to look a certain way? To act a certain way? Are those messages aligned with who you truly are, or are they pushing you toward a version of beauty that doesn’t feel authentic? Taking a step back from the noise and recognizing that beauty is subjective and fluid can give you more freedom to embrace your own body and uniqueness!

A Personal Story: Our Own Journeys

To make this more personal, let us share something from our own experiences. When we were younger, we can remember feeling overwhelmed by magazine covers, TV shows, and later, social media. We’d see these flawless faces and bodies and wonder why we didn’t look like that. But as we’ve grown older and worked with clients, we’ve realized something incredibly liberating: the journey to self-acceptance isn’t about fitting a mold. It’s about feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin.

Of course we still have days where we don’t feel our best, and that’s okay. But we’ve learned to love our bodies for what they are (flaws and all). It’s not about perfection; it’s about embracing your individuality and accepting that you, in all your imperfect beauty, are enough.

The Mental Health Connection

When we talk about body image and beauty standards, we also have to acknowledge the significant toll it can take on our mental health. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are often linked to negative body image. Constantly comparing yourself to others on social media can fuel feelings of inadequacy and shame. If you’re struggling with how you feel about your body, please know that it’s not something you have to handle alone.

It’s essential to create a supportive environment for yourself, both online and offline. Consider following accounts that promote body positivity, self-love, and diversity. Spend less time comparing and more time celebrating your uniqueness. And, most importantly, allow yourself the space to just be without the pressure to fit someone else’s idea of beauty.

Building a Healthier Relationship with Social Media

If you’re feeling like social media is getting to be too much, it’s okay to take a step back. Setting boundaries can help you regain control over how you consume content. Here are some practical steps you can try:

1. Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative thoughts or comparisons.

2. Limit Time Online: Set specific times during the day to check social media, and stick to them. When you limit your exposure, it’s easier to focus on the present moment and real-world connections.

3. Post for Yourself: Share what feels authentic to you. Don’t worry about likes or followers. Think about how you want to express yourself. It’s about your voice, your experience, and your identity.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, just as you would to a friend. Speak to yourself with love and understanding, especially when you’re feeling down about your appearance.

Final Thoughts

Body image isn’t just about how we look… it’s about how we feel about ourselves. Social media might shape how we view beauty, but it doesn’t define our worth. Your beauty, inside and out, is not contingent upon the standards set by others. It’s rooted in the acceptance of who you are (imperfections and all).

If you ever feel like the pressure is too much, remember that you can create a healthier relationship with yourself and with social media. Therapy can also be a powerful tool in helping you navigate these feelings and discover a more authentic, self-compassionate way to see your body.

You deserve to feel good in your own skin. Start today because you are already enough.

Take care of yourself.

Growing Up with Divorced Parents: The Rollercoaster You Didn’t Sign Up For (But Here We Are)

March 23, 2025

Ah, growing up with divorced parents… what a ride!

It’s like being on a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for, with the added bonus of unexpected loop-de-loops and the occasional emotional whiplash. But hey, you survive it, don’t you? And sometimes, you even thrive. Let’s talk about the experience of growing up with divorced parents, the good, the bad, and the “wow, did that just happen?” moments. Spoiler alert: You might not have asked for this life, but it’s probably made you the strong, resilient, slightly sarcastic person you are today.

The minute your parents tell you they’re divorcing, you’re hit with a cocktail of emotions such as sadness, confusion, anger, and a dash of guilt. It’s like a confusing buffet of feelings that you never really asked to be a part of. You’re basically in a constant state of, “Wait, is this a bad dream, or is this real life?” You might have even googled “how to cope with parents splitting up” at 2 AM (no shame).

But here’s the thing: it’s all normal. It’s okay to feel like your world has been shaken up like a snow globe on a coffee table. The important part is that you let yourself feel those emotions, even if they’re messy.

One of the first things you’ll notice after the divorce is the whole “living in two places” situation. If you’re lucky, you’ll have two homes, two bedrooms, and double the number of snack cabinets (which, let’s be real, is the dream). If you’re not so lucky, you’ll probably spend your time bouncing between houses like a human ping-pong ball, trying to remember which toothbrush goes where. And let’s not forget the new schedules because who doesn’t love a good calendar update in the middle of a life crisis?

Pro tip: Be kind to yourself during these transitions. It’s okay to feel like you’re living in two different universes with new rules every week. At least you can make two different types of cereal at both houses. That’s a win, right?

One of the biggest emotional hurdles is the whole “picking a side” thing. Your parents probably don’t want you to choose between them, but deep down, you might feel like you’re stuck in a “choose your fighter” situation. It’s like being in the middle of a reality TV show and, spoiler alert, you’re not even getting paid for it. Here’s the thing: You don’t need to pick sides. Trust me, loving both parents does not mean you’re betraying anyone. It just means you’re a decent human being who doesn’t want to star in their own drama series. So, breathe. Be honest with yourself and your parents. It’s OK to love both of them without feeling guilty.

While it may feel like the universe is throwing every curveball at you, you’re learning how to roll with it. You’re building resilience without even realizing it. Handling multiple schedules? Check. Navigating emotional chaos? Double check. Learning how to be flexible and adaptable? You’re practically a yoga master at this point. Yes, it’s tough, but growing up with divorced parents teaches you how to bounce back from things that don’t go according to plan. Sure, you might be a little cynical now, but you’ve earned it. Resilience? You’ve got it in spades.

If you’re lucky, your parents might remarry, bringing new people into your life. Stepparents, step-siblings, half-siblings… oh my! You may feel like you’re starring in a never-ending season of Modern Family. Except the only thing being handed out is emotional support and maybe a few awkward family dinners. Adjusting to new family members can be a slow process, but here’s a secret: It’s absolutely okay if it’s weird. Give yourself and them time. And hey, you might even end up loving your new family members in ways you didn’t expect. It’s like a surprise twist ending in a soap opera, and who doesn’t love a plot twist?!

Growing up with divorced parents forces you to figure out who you are when your family structure looks a little different from what you expected. You’ll probably ask yourself some big questions like who am I? What do I want in relationships? And how do I want to be treated? This journey helps you become more self-aware, independent, and strong. You’re building your own identity, not just in reaction to the divorce but in spite of it. You might even come to appreciate the ways your unique upbringing has made you who you are today!

Looking back, what we wish we knew growing up with divorced parents is that while it’s tough, it doesn’t define us. It teaches you resilience, compassion, and the strength to create your own path, no matter how many curveballs life throws your way.