When Friendships Fade: Losing People, But Finding Yourself

April 27, 2025

We’ve all lost friends. Sometimes in slow fades, other times in painful, unexpected endings. It could’ve been a best friend from childhood, a college roommate, someone we thought would stand beside us at every major life milestone. And yet, life shifted. We grew in different directions. They left. Or maybe we did.

It hurts. But here’s the quiet truth many of us learn in the aftermath:

Sometimes losing people is exactly how we begin to find ourselves.

The Quiet Grief of Losing Friends

Friendship loss doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves. There are no funerals for friendships. No formal goodbyes. Just a slow change in tone, fewer texts, canceled plans, or a gut-wrenching argument that leaves things fractured. And still, it lingers. The ache. The nostalgia. The wondering what went wrong.

We grieve not just the person, but who we were with them (the comfort, the memories, the version of ourselves that existed in that space). But even as the pain settles in, something else starts to rise: Clarity.

Outgrowing Isn’t Failing

Here’s what we’re often not told: outgrowing people isn’t a betrayal. It’s a part of becoming. As we grow, heal, change, and become more aligned with who we truly are, not every friendship will survive that shift.

And that’s okay.

Some friendships were meant for a season. They taught us what we needed to learn, offered love while it fit, and then — quietly or suddenly — made space for us to move forward.

Outgrowing what no longer fits is a sign we’re evolving. We don’t know who needs to hear this but… there is no shame in that!

In the Space They Leave Behind

When the noise fades, the group chats go quiet, the routines change, we’re left with space. It can feel lonely. But it can also be sacred.

In that silence, we start to hear ourselves again. We begin to ask better questions: Who am I now? What kind of people do I want around me? What kind of friend do I want to be to others and to myself?

We begin choosing differently. Not out of bitterness, but out of alignment.

And slowly, we start calling in people who feel like home… the ones who honour our truth, not just our history.

To Anyone Letting Go and Starting Over

If you’re walking through the loss of a friendship right now, know this:

1. You’re not weak for feeling heartbroken.

2. You’re not cold for setting boundaries or walking away.

3. You’re not alone in this kind of grief.

Sometimes we lose people we never thought we’d live without, and somehow, we still bloom. We find our voice, our strength, and our peace. And maybe, most importantly, we find the version of ourselves we were always meant to return to.

Sometimes the people we lose create the space for us to become who we were always meant to be. And while letting go is never easy, choosing ourselves is always worth it.

So if you’re in that space right now (mourning a friendship, questioning what went wrong, or sitting with the ache of distance) know that you’re not alone. So many of us have been there, quietly grieving the people who once felt like home. But in that loss, we also begin to find something new: strength, clarity, and a deeper connection to who we are becoming. And while the path forward might feel unfamiliar at first, it’s leading us somewhere beautiful… back to ourselves.

The Hardest Goodbye: Grieving the Loss of a Soul Pet

April 20, 2025

This past week, we said goodbye to our childhood dog — our best friend of 15 years. Writing that sentence still catches in our throats. We got her when we were young teenagers, and we basically grew up together. Every phase of our lives (the good, the hard, the chaotic, the beautiful), she was there. Always.

We walk past the spot where her bed used to be and instinctively look for her. We still pause before opening the front door, expecting to see her waiting for us with her little bark.

This grief? It’s real. And it’s messy.

This Isn’t “Just a Dog”

We’ve heard the phrases like “She had a good long life,” “You’ll get another one,” or the classic, “At least it wasn’t a person.” We know people mean well. But if you’ve ever truly loved an animal, you know that kind of love doesn’t slot neatly into categories.

She wasn’t just a dog. She was the one who curled up beside us when we felt anxious and like we couldn’t catch our breath. She was there for the heartbreaks, the all-nighters, the quiet Sunday mornings, and the dance parties in the kitchen. She witnessed parts of us that no one else will ever fully understand. And she accepted all of it without judgment, without conditions.

Losing her is like losing a chapter of ourselves.

When Grief Feels Quiet but Heavy

Pet loss is a strange kind of grief. It’s deeply personal and often deeply invisible. There’s no funeral, no bereavement leave. Just this lingering ache that shows up when you least expect it — like when you're vacuuming and find one last stray hair, or when you instinctively reach to grab two treats instead of one.

We’ve had moments where we felt silly for crying so hard. But then we remember: this was a 15-year love story. Of course it hurts.

And if you're going through this too, we want to say it clearly: your grief is valid. You're not overreacting. You're not being dramatic. You're heartbroken, because you loved deeply. That’s not weakness. That’s beautiful.

How I’m Coping (And How You Can Too)

Honestly? We’re still in it. We’re still figuring out what healing even looks like. But here are some things that are helping us, slowly, gently:

• Talking about them – Even when it makes us cry. Telling stories keeps them close.

• Letting ourselves grieve on our own timeline – No rushing. No forcing ourselves to be "okay."

• Writing this post – Because if you're reading this and you're hurting too, we want you to know you're not alone in this kind of heartbreak.

Love Doesn’t End Here

They say grief is love with nowhere to go but we don't fully believe that. We think the love does go somewhere. It reshapes us. It softens us. It makes us more patient, more present, more human. The love our dog gave us — that unconditional, pure kind of love — is still with us. It’s just... quieter now.

If you’re grieving a pet right now, we hope you’ll allow yourself to feel it. Cry if you need to. Talk about them. Keep their memory alive in whatever way feels right. There’s no “right” way to grieve. There’s just your way.

And if no one has said it to you yet… we are so sorry for your loss. We know how big that loss really is. Your grief is valid. You're not overreacting. You're not being dramatic. You're heartbroken, because you loved deeply. That’s not weakness. That’s beautiful. You loved them well. And they knew it. That love will always, always matter.

How to Trust and Date Again After Being Cheated On (Without Losing Your Mind)

April 6, 2025

If you’ve ever had your heart shattered by someone you trusted, you’re not alone. Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences, leaving you questioning everything (from your worth to your ability to ever trust someone again). We get it. You’ve been through the wringer. Someone you loved and trusted has shattered that trust in the most painful way possible. And now, here you are, standing at the edge of the dating world, wondering how the hell you're supposed to start trusting again.

As psychotherapists who work with people just like you—people who’ve been hurt, people who’ve had their hearts stomped on and their trust broken, we want to tell you something: It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel like your heart might never fully heal. But also… it will. We promise. It just takes time, work, and a few laughs along the way. So, if you're ready to dive into how to trust and date again after being cheated on, let’s go.

Step 1: Feel Your Feelings (Even the Ugly Ones)

First, let’s be real: When you’ve been cheated on, you’re dealing with a whole buffet of emotions—hurt, anger, confusion, betrayal, and probably a touch of "What the hell was I thinking?" But here’s the thing: all those feelings are completely valid. The pain of being betrayed isn’t something you just "get over." It’s a process. And the first step? Let yourself feel.

You might feel like crying in your car (been there, done that), or maybe you’re super mad and fantasizing about confronting your ex with a well-timed, “I hope you choke on your own lies” (okay, maybe don’t do that… but we get it). Whatever it is, let those feelings out. Acknowledge them. You can’t heal what you’re not willing to feel! So, give yourself permission to grieve the relationship. It doesn’t matter if it was two months or ten years. Betrayal stings. But remember: You are not your pain. Feel it, but don’t get stuck there.

Step 2: Stop Blaming Yourself (Seriously, Stop)

Oh, the mind games that come after cheating. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably asked yourself some version of, “Was I not good enough? Was I too much? What did I do wrong?”

STOP IT. Let me say that again: STOP IT. This isn’t about you. The person who cheated on you made a choice—a bad, selfish choice—and it has nothing to do with your worth as a person.

Sure, you might’ve had your own flaws (who doesn’t?), but no one deserves to be betrayed. The person who cheated on you isn’t a reflection of you, and neither is their behaviour. It’s a reflection of them.

You are worthy of love, trust, and respect. Full stop.

Step 3: Start Rebuilding Your Trust (One Tiny Step at a Time)

So, now that you’ve taken a breath and stopped blaming yourself, let’s talk about trust. Rebuilding trust after being cheated on feels like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions (spoiler alert: it’s messy). But here’s the deal: You can do it.

Start small. We don’t mean “let’s jump into a new relationship tomorrow”—that’s a sure-fire way to get your heart broken again. We mean, practice trusting yourself first. Trust that you will make good choices moving forward. Trust that you can set healthy boundaries for yourself. And trust that you will know when someone is being honest with you.

When you’re ready to date again, take it slow. You don’t have to jump back into anything serious. The first few dates may feel like a test run, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace and remember: It’s all about progress, not perfection.

Step 4: Get Comfortable With Setting Boundaries (And Not Apologizing for Them)

After being cheated on, your boundaries need to be your new best friend. These aren’t walls that keep people out; they’re healthy lines in the sand that help you protect your heart, your trust, and your well-being. You’re allowed to say things like, “I need honesty from the start,” or “I’m not okay with someone being shady with their phone.” Trust us when we say this… healthy boundaries are your armor. They don’t make you “too much” or “too demanding.” They make you someone who knows their worth and is unwilling to settle for less.

If someone can’t respect your boundaries, well, that’s their problem, not yours. And you’re not required to make excuses for standing up for yourself.
Say it with us: Boundaries are not optional. They’re essential.

Step 5: When You're Ready, Take the Leap (But Only If It Feels Right)

Okay, let’s talk about dating again. This might feel like the scariest step, but honestly, there's no rush. You don’t have to dive headfirst into dating if you’re not ready. Take your time. No one’s keeping track.

When you do feel ready, go in with an open mind and an open heart. It’s okay if it’s awkward at first. Everyone’s had a weird date or two. And hey, if you’re still figuring out what feels good for you, you can always laugh at the absurdity of it all. Remember: dating after heartbreak is a marathon, not a sprint.

Also, look for red flags early. If someone’s making you feel anxious, uncertain, or constantly second-guessing yourself, don’t ignore it. Your gut knows more than you give it credit for. And just because someone seems charming doesn’t mean they won’t end up being another lesson in why you should never ignore your instincts.

Step 6: Be Kind to Yourself (Even When It’s Hard)

Be kind to yourself. If you need to take a break from dating, take it. If you need to cry in a pile of ice cream and Netflix for a week, go for it. Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t have a deadline. Trust yourself to know when you’re ready to take the next step. And when you’re not? That’s okay too.

Trust isn’t built in a day, and neither is your heart. You’ve been hurt, but you are not defined by that hurt. You’re defined by your ability to rise, to heal, and to love again (starting with yourself).

And hey, in case no one’s told you today: You’re amazing. Even on the hard days.

If you end up on a few awkward dates, remind yourself that it’s all part of the process. You might kiss a few frogs before you find your prince (or at least someone who doesn’t constantly check their phone under the table). But take it one step at a time, and trust that with every weird date, uncomfortable conversation, and awkward silence, you’re getting closer to the right person. So keep your chin up, your standards high, and your needs intact. You’ll get there! Who knows, maybe the next time you’re swiping, it’ll be a match made in therapy-approved heaven!

Redefining Beauty: How Social Media Shapes Our Body Image and What to Do About It

March 30, 2025

We want to start by saying this: you are not alone in how you feel about your body. In fact, you're part of a growing conversation that's shifting the way we think about beauty, self-worth, and how those ideas are influenced by something that's become an inseparable part of our lives—social media.

As Psychotherapists, we’ve had many conversations with clients who express frustration, confusion, and sometimes even sadness when comparing themselves to the people they see online. But here's the thing: social media, for all its good, is often a highlight reel. It shows us the best versions of people, the most curated moments, and sometimes, the most unattainable standards of beauty and success. That, in turn, can leave us feeling less than, inadequate, or disconnected from our own unique selves.

The Beauty Filter Trap

Let’s talk about filters and editing for a second. It’s almost become a norm to tweak photos, smooth skin, or enhance features before posting them. While this can be fun, it often creates a distorted version of reality. When we see others post these “perfect” images, it’s easy to start comparing our natural, unfiltered selves and feeling like we fall short. But here’s the truth: nobody looks like their filtered photos all the time (not even the influencers, celebrities, or models).

In therapy, we often help clients explore what’s going on under the surface when they’re struggling with body image. For many, social media fosters the idea that their worth is tied to how they look. It’s subtle, but over time, it seeps in. If you’re someone who’s constantly comparing, it can feel like you’re never quite enough, no matter how many likes or comments you get.

Beauty Standards: Evolving, Yet Still Holding Strong

Let’s talk about beauty standards for a moment. These standards have always existed, but social media has amplified them in ways we’ve never experienced before. We see what’s “in” on the runway one season, and the next, it’s completely different. The pressure to match these ever-changing ideals can be exhausting.

But here’s something that can help you breathe a little easier: beauty standards are not set in stone. They are created by society, influenced by media, and can be reshaped. There’s a growing movement online where people are embracing diverse body types, different skin tones, and all kinds of facial features. This inclusivity is challenging traditional norms, and it’s incredibly powerful.

When you scroll through your feed, consider what messages you’re absorbing. Is it telling you to look a certain way? To act a certain way? Are those messages aligned with who you truly are, or are they pushing you toward a version of beauty that doesn’t feel authentic? Taking a step back from the noise and recognizing that beauty is subjective and fluid can give you more freedom to embrace your own body and uniqueness!

A Personal Story: Our Own Journeys

To make this more personal, let us share something from our own experiences. When we were younger, we can remember feeling overwhelmed by magazine covers, TV shows, and later, social media. We’d see these flawless faces and bodies and wonder why we didn’t look like that. But as we’ve grown older and worked with clients, we’ve realized something incredibly liberating: the journey to self-acceptance isn’t about fitting a mold—it’s about feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin.

Of course we still have days where we don’t feel our best, and that’s okay. But we’ve learned to love our bodies for what they are (flaws and all). It’s not about perfection; it’s about embracing your individuality and accepting that you, in all your imperfect beauty, are enough.

The Mental Health Connection

When we talk about body image and beauty standards, we also have to acknowledge the significant toll it can take on our mental health. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are often linked to negative body image. Constantly comparing yourself to others on social media can fuel feelings of inadequacy and shame. If you’re struggling with how you feel about your body, please know that it’s not something you have to handle alone.

It’s essential to create a supportive environment for yourself, both online and offline. Consider following accounts that promote body positivity, self-love, and diversity. Spend less time comparing and more time celebrating your uniqueness. And, most importantly, allow yourself the space to just be—without the pressure to fit someone else’s idea of beauty.

Building a Healthier Relationship with Social Media

If you’re feeling like social media is getting to be too much, it’s okay to take a step back. Setting boundaries can help you regain control over how you consume content. Here are some practical steps you can try:

1. Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative thoughts or comparisons.

2. Limit Time Online: Set specific times during the day to check social media, and stick to them. When you limit your exposure, it’s easier to focus on the present moment and real-world connections.

3. Post for Yourself: Share what feels authentic to you. Don’t worry about likes or followers. Think about how you want to express yourself. It’s about your voice, your experience, and your identity.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, just as you would to a friend. Speak to yourself with love and understanding, especially when you’re feeling down about your appearance.

Final Thoughts

Body image isn’t just about how we look—it’s about how we feel about ourselves. Social media might shape how we view beauty, but it doesn’t define our worth. Your beauty, inside and out, is not contingent upon the standards set by others. It’s rooted in the acceptance of who you are (imperfections and all).

If you ever feel like the pressure is too much, remember that you can create a healthier relationship with yourself and with social media. Therapy can also be a powerful tool in helping you navigate these feelings and discover a more authentic, self-compassionate way to see your body.

You deserve to feel good in your own skin. Start today—because you are already enough.

Take care of yourself.

The Healing Space

Welcome to a space where ideas come to life and conversations spark new perspectives. Whether you're looking for insights, inspiration, or practical advice, you'll find something here that speaks to you. This blog is a collection of our thoughts, experiences, and reflections, shared with the hope that they might offer you value or a fresh way of looking at things.

Growing Up with Divorced Parents: The Rollercoaster You Didn’t Sign Up For (But Here We Are)

March 23, 2025

Ah, growing up with divorced parents—what a ride!

It’s like being on a rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for, with the added bonus of unexpected loop-de-loops and the occasional emotional whiplash. But hey, you survive it, don’t you? And sometimes, you even thrive. Let’s talk about the experience of growing up with divorced parents, the good, the bad, and the “wow, did that just happen?” moments. Spoiler alert: You might not have asked for this life, but it’s probably made you the strong, resilient, slightly sarcastic person you are today.

The minute your parents tell you they’re divorcing, you’re hit with a cocktail of emotions—sadness, confusion, anger, and a dash of guilt. It’s like a confusing buffet of feelings that you never really asked to be a part of. You’re basically in a constant state of, “Wait, is this a bad dream, or is this real life?” You might have even googled “how to cope with parents splitting up” at 2 AM (no shame).

But here’s the thing: it’s all normal. It’s okay to feel like your world has been shaken up like a snow globe on a coffee table. The important part is that you let yourself feel those emotions, even if they’re messy.

One of the first things you’ll notice after the divorce is the whole “living in two places” situation. If you’re lucky, you’ll have two homes, two bedrooms, and double the number of snack cabinets (which, let’s be real, is the dream). If you’re not so lucky, you’ll probably spend your time bouncing between houses like a human ping-pong ball, trying to remember which toothbrush goes where. And let’s not forget the new schedules because who doesn’t love a good calendar update in the middle of a life crisis?

Pro tip: Be kind to yourself during these transitions. It’s okay to feel like you’re living in two different universes with new rules every week. At least you can make two different types of cereal at both houses. That’s a win, right?

One of the biggest emotional hurdles is the whole “picking a side” thing. Your parents probably don’t want you to choose between them, but deep down, you might feel like you’re stuck in a “choose your fighter” situation. It’s like being in the middle of a reality TV show and, spoiler alert, you’re not even getting paid for it. Here’s the thing: You don’t need to pick sides. Trust me, loving both parents does not mean you’re betraying anyone. It just means you’re a decent human being who doesn’t want to star in their own drama series. So, breathe. Be honest with yourself and your parents. It’s OK to love both of them without feeling guilty.

While it may feel like the universe is throwing every curveball at you, you’re learning how to roll with it. You’re building resilience without even realizing it. Handling multiple schedules? Check. Navigating emotional chaos? Double check. Learning how to be flexible and adaptable? You’re practically a yoga master at this point. Yes, it’s tough, but growing up with divorced parents teaches you how to bounce back from things that don’t go according to plan. Sure, you might be a little cynical now, but you’ve earned it. Resilience? You’ve got it in spades.

If you’re lucky, your parents might remarry, bringing new people into your life. Stepparents, step-siblings, half-siblings… oh my! You may feel like you’re starring in a never-ending season of Modern Family. Except the only thing being handed out is emotional support and maybe a few awkward family dinners. Adjusting to new family members can be a slow process, but here’s a secret: It’s absolutely okay if it’s weird. Give yourself and them time. And hey, you might even end up loving your new family members in ways you didn’t expect. It’s like a surprise twist ending in a soap opera, and who doesn’t love a plot twist?!

Growing up with divorced parents forces you to figure out who you are when your family structure looks a little different from what you expected. You’ll probably ask yourself some big questions like who am I? What do I want in relationships? And how do I want to be treated? This journey helps you become more self-aware, independent, and strong. You’re building your own identity, not just in reaction to the divorce but in spite of it. You might even come to appreciate the ways your unique upbringing has made you who you are today!

Looking back, what we wish we knew growing up with divorced parents is that while it’s tough, it doesn’t define us. It teaches you resilience, compassion, and the strength to create your own path, no matter how many curveballs life throws your way.